A Powerful, Simple Way to Keep Conversations Going with Women
So there you just met a girl at the bar. She noticed you, and then you 2 engaged in a conversation a bit...next thing you knew you lost your train of thought and the conversation died and you stood there nervous without anything else to say.
This problem of how to keep a conversation going after after the intial intro-fluff talk is very common among guys, typically after you asked her all the conventional intro-questions, like "What's your name?", "How are you?", "Where are you from?", etc.
Now does this same problem exist when you are chatting to your friends and family?
Look you're not the only one. She probably also doesn't know what to say her, and labels herself as a conversationalist as well.
There are a few things you can do.
The obvious thing from here is to inquire her and just be fascinated in what she says. The thing is, this is the same boring thing all the other guys do, besides what are you...an interviewer?
Another thing is use storytelling. Storytelling will be the gist of most of most of any social dynamics interaction, but if you don't possess a bag of interesting relevant stories, you should build up on your stories toolbox to pull out to tell whenever you want. In my book the Art of Social Natural, I do get into a number of storytelling techniques of how you can use just one memorized story to construct up with fresh new stories that are relevant to the conversation to use any time anywhere.
Now I have this effective strategy I called "obviousation - Saying the Obvious to Neutralize the Awkwardness (S.O.N.A.)."
(Now say it together, "Saying the Obvious to Neutralize the Awkwardness"...awesome :)
This method works like a charm.
This brings down a lot of barrier, just like when you are talking to your friends and family these barriers are not up. You remain calm and just speak your mind.
Imagine you and a girl are just talking and all of a sudden the conversation becomes quiet and there is this moment of awkward silence.
You think you're to blame and that you are a terrible conversationalist; however she is thinking the same thing too.
When this happens, SONA (Say-the-Obvious-to-Neutralize-this-Awkwardness), just say in a cool joking way something like,
"Huh, I guess we're not great conversationalists are we? We're both silent right now? We don't know what to about anymore? You know...I hate when this happens? When 2 people are interacting they both become silent, and usually they assume they are the one responsible...but they don't realize is that the other person has the same thing in mid, too."
This will release a lot of tension and may follow with a laugh, the laugh of recognition.
And you 2 can then go into a conversation about "conversations".
Watch as how she warms up from here, you will progress from feeling like being this guy she just met to being somebody she's already familiar with.
Also you show confidence here by eliminating the same tension and awkwardness she feels from being quiet, or she will eventually do it for you...by "I need to find my friend".
Ever catch why comedians are good at the things they do and are hilarious? They are ballsy enough to state the obvious that nobody else is willing to admit, but hey they are comedians and do it in a joking mannerism, allowing them to slide through with it.
after that, you can also dig into a cold-reading.
After the conversation about "conversations" ends", and there comes again a second awkward silence, SONA again.
"Ahh give me a break, another quiet moment? I think this time, you're the one responsible." :)
Be playful with these silence moments.
After when this happens, magically you 2 will feel like insider, and will feel better at ease and relaxed and have a stronger connection.
The way to convey how this feels is notice the difference in your behavior when initially interacting with a girl when there is this sort of barrier between you 2 that you both can't entirely relaxed around other each and always be alert to display your best self.
And after you sleep with her, that feeling changes and you 2 feel a lot more at ease because you guys have gone through a lot, had your uncomfortable moments, shown your flaws and you 2 are both acceptable with them without being judgmental each other.
Not a lot of guys don't have the confidence to do this. What do majority of guys do? They cling for dear life by continuously asking question; however, by willing to admit this obvious, it shows balls and honesty, and will bypass a lot of superficial barriers and get to her truth self, and you will be perceived as different in her eyes.
About the Author
Gabriel Angelo runs http://www.socialnatural.com, with the unique approach to dating and meeting women, by focusing on developing your "social skills" to be the most socially savvy person you can be, not just with women...but everybody. Although the arts are primarily related to dating and attracting women, they can be applied to other aspects of your life from social, dating, personal, and even professional.
For more information, please visit http://www.socialnatural.com.