How to Best Talk with Women?
So there you are talking to a woman, and you start to think "What is the best way to come across with this girl?" "How do I soud to her?" "Should I talk faster to get her excited, or should I talk slower to draw her in and mesmerize her?"
OK this is when social calibration comes in my friend. Social calibration is optimizing your social performance for that particular situation for optimum result.
Ask yourself what is your ideal goal when you are chatting to the other person.
When you're in a loud night club, with all the other stimuli affecting perception, do you think it would be ideal to speak in a calm and relaxed voice to get a group of girls' attention?
Do psychologists ever talk in an energetic and fast paced tone to establish trust with their patients to get them toopen up?
Talk energetically when you want to grab attention and people to focus on you.
Talk slowly and rhythmically if you are trying to build a deeper connection.
Ideal social calibration transition in a night club meeting a girl, start off the interaction being energetic and animated to keep her attention, and then transition to the calm and slow voice when you are going for that rapport.
Loud and energetic gets the attention on you and make you memorable, but to carry that deeper into a rapport, go slow and paced.
fast and energetic = attention-grabbing and keeping focus on you (superficial)
slow and calm = profound and stronger impact/persuasive (deep)
If the interaction is already centered on you, speak in a slow and rhythmic voice; however if there are potential for distraction, revert back energetic and animated to keep the attention on you and to claim it back when distractions do occur.
Some great demonstrations are go on YouTube and watch some of Leonardo DiCaprio's 1-on-1 interviews, notice how articulate he talks and calm and controlled he paced himself.
He doesn't feel the need to force himself to be loud and energetic to grab any attention because there are no potential outside distractions and regardless though, he makes us drawn into his speech without trying.
If you don't feel the need to talk energetically to put you in the spotlight and communicate your point across, talk slowly. Talking fast-paced and energetic needs a lot more energy, it's recommended to be resourceful with it.
About the Author
Gabriel Angelo runs http://www.socialnatural.com, with the unique approach to dating and meeting women, by focusing on developing your "social skills" to be the most socially savvy person you can be, not just with women...but everybody. Although the arts are primarily related to dating and attracting women, they can be applied to other aspects of your life from social, dating, personal, and even professional.
For more information, please visit http://www.socialnatural.com.