The Myth about Confidence - How to truly Build Confidence?

What is confidence supposed to be...for you can't see it? There has been a lot of misconceptions about confidence and that it is the magical secret to attracting girls.

Now I am going to say something a little out there, confidence by itself is just not enough.

"Acting confident" ("faking it til you make it" as we like to call it) is not "truly being confident".

"Faking it til you make it" is great and will assist you bypass a lot of the fear to take action and persevere, but true confidence comes from when you're really skilled at something, unconscious competent, without even being awared of it.

When you are at that level of unconscious competent, confidence will naturally be there because you have the skill set and know you will be able to do it well every time, unlike acting confident at what you are doing for a day doesn't mean you will be confident tomorrow because you don't have that "competence to back it up every time".

Just like when you have been riding a bike all your life...

When you get on the bike, you are automatically confident because you know how to ride it; however that wasn't the case when you started learning. You were nervous due to the fact you didn't know how to ride it and could had bruised yourself, so much as if you faked your confidence, you would still have no idea of how to get on it.

Or essentially for anything you do, like taking a standardized test, fixing a car, playing a new sport...do you think just having confidence is sufficient to allow you do each one of them with the upmost success?

NO.

As a matter of fact it is reverse, knowing "what-to-do" and "how-to-do-it" and having the knowledge is going to develop that competence and make you have that confidence.

When applying for a job, will somebody hire you just because you are presenting yourself confidently without ever having the proper training to precisely work for them?

Absolutely not, because you could get fired the next day after working with a lack of competence and have costed them time and resources. They are more interested in specialized skill, knowledge, experience, expertise...your competence.

Same situation for when you are out in social gatherings and have no clue what to do when talking to a woman or interacting with people; you can fake your confidence and be confident, but that doesn't mean you really are.

Confidence doesn't make you better, competence does, and confidence will result from that.

Here is my quote, I want you to bear in mind:

"Competence comes from experience. Confidence comes from competence."
- Gabriel Angelo

About the Author

Gabriel Angelo runs http://www.socialnatural.com, with the unique approach to dating and meeting women, by focusing on developing your "social skills" to be the most socially savvy person you can be, not just with women...but everybody. Although the arts are primarily related to dating and attracting women, they can be applied to other aspects of your life from social, dating, personal, and even professional.

For more information, please visit http://www.socialnatural.com.